a good friend & I’m kinda a fan of this image.
–verb (used without object)to explore cavesThe deepest and darkest places in my heart filled with Bats, stalagmites and stalactites are scary places to venture into. They are places that I hadn’t yet explored but always knew they were there and were always on my mind. (Bats just flew past my window while I was typing this! crazy!) Today I had some time to chill in my bath tub and lay in my bed and think about stuff. I was feeling rather distant to God and I felt like everything was foggy and I couldn’t see anything at all. I still feel the fog but I ventured into these caves in my heart and God showed me around. He knows me better than I know my self. The scary part is that I surrendered these areas of my heart to God and now I just have to trust. I need to trust that God will provide me with some sort of passion so I can put it to use and figure out what I’m gong to use my life for. I realized last week during camps rental weeks that I want to be in some sort of ministry work. We aren’t aloud to talk to the school group kids about God while they are here and I had a terrible time with that. Getting to know these kids and hearing about their lives at home but not being able to talk about God with them is the worst thing ever for me. I think I had been feeling led to ministry for a while but I had never really listened or realized it was for real till the first school group. Now I think I should be in some sort of ministry. but I have NO clue what to do or what Kinda ministry. I just have to trust. I need to trust that God will take care of my lack of love life. Yes, I’m going there. Love. For a while I didn’t know if God really cared about that area of my life. I kinda didn’t think I should either. It got to the point where I was telling myself I didn’t need love. But deep in that dark love cave of my heart I heard something tell me I’m wrong. I might not need a wife. I don’t need a girlfriend or anything right now or maybe ever, But I know I need love. I am like everyone else. I need to love and be loved. Thank God for his love. That creepy, scared Love cave was lit up by God. Its no longer a place that I think about and worry but now I know that even if God doesn’t have a woman planned out for me I know there is a reason for it and that I can bring glory back to God through every circumstance. I just have to trust. I suppose there are many other caves in my heart that God and I will soon explore together. I need to just keep trusting in him and letting him guide me though the cave and surrendering every new chunk of heart I find. I don’t know if any of what I just said made sense. I am terribly tired and my neck is in incredible pain so this might not have been worth reading? I dunno. I’m going to bed. Happy Father’s Day folks.
Me and dad went to to city yesterday for his physio and I got bored. So I texted a friend of mine and she happened to be planning a photo shoot with a few of her friends and Kindly asked if I’d like to join then! I said yes, of course. We met by the Wier and started shooting! It was a slow start for me. I’m not really used to shooting portraits outside and I wasn’t prepared with any sort of shot list. It was all improv.
SO Here is one of my non portrait pictures of the day. :)
This is a friend. He hates my style. I hate his style but I love him. :)
Your Friendships sweeter than a kiss on the lips
Your Grace covers me like the the moon covers the sun during a solar eclipse
and your Love squeezes me like an anaconda eating me alive
Your Mercy is irrational like the square root of pi.